Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
Where do we, where do we find these things?
I have a friend who may be able to help us acquire particular tools.
It's up here, Shimmer.
Okay, someone, okay.
So what's, uh, what's the word here, buddy?
Sully, I've been asked to bring your friend down to Ms. Mammyowmyow.
And you, Glim, tell me a little bit about yourself.
How long have you been here in Neverwinter?
Oh, hardly any time at all. I just arrived on a caravan.
I've got a destiny to save the world.
Really? I have a friend here.
Pulling one of the, one of the good old heists of people from a prison.
A jailbreak.
Yeah, my one friend is a, is a dragonborn who follows Bahamut.
I don't think she's gonna be out there breaking the law, do you?
Interest.
This is your standard array of thieves' tools.
Is that it? Do, do you need anything?
Gabriel knows the routine. I'm sure he will fill you in.
Oh, hey, hey, other person. Yeah, yeah, I got it.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna try to get it up to that window for you.
You gotta go through?
Sure.
Alright, Major Lee, let's do this.
You hear the sweet sound of a large click as the lock turns within.
You should probably find like a getaway ride.
Uh, yeah, that's, that's, that's a really good idea.
Um, what do you, what do you, what do you think? What do you have in mind?
We're a couple of streets down. You know what? Follow me.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We're a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast,
and I'm your dungeon master Russ More.
And with me today is Amy More.
Yes, I am here.
I've hidden a moth somewhere in this room that Russ doesn't know.
Also, I play Sullivan Slyte, a Lightfoot halfling, uh, rogue.
Also with me, Carla Johnson.
That is me. No moths.
You know what? That's a lie.
There's actually literally always moths in here, but like those little, um,
the paper ones, the little tiny boys, the little small ones.
Yeah. The little tiny boys, Tom.
That's a sweet way of describing it.
There's always in my apartment for some reason.
Little tiny devil boys.
Yeah.
Also with us.
I have to say who I am. I'm not just the moth person.
You usually say it right off the top.
I'm only mostly the moth person, but in the context of this podcast,
I play Glim, a dragonborn pAlydin.
If you talk about moths for too long, I just cut you off.
And Tom Laird.
Yeah, that's me.
I hired a team of people to go to Russ and Amy's house and strategically
release moths every now and then just to keep Russ on his toes.
Oh, all right.
I thought there was some coming there.
And I play Moot, who is a half-orc wild magic sorcerer.
Moths were apparently big in the Discord today,
which is why they're very prevalent in today's episode.
There's all sorts of fun conversation in the Discord all the time.
Also, FYI, Russ is afraid of moths.
So if you want to ship us some moths.
No.
We have a PO bot.
Don't do that.
Oh my god, Russ opens it and they're just like.
I don't even.
Podcast over or somebody kills me.
It would be terrifying, regardless of your feeling.
It would be so frightening.
Those poor moths.
They're just dark butterflies.
That's true.
I'm not scared of them, but it would scare me if I opened a little package
and something flew out in my face.
Yeah.
How do you feel about those greeting cards, Russ,
that the thing would like fly out of when you open it?
That's what I was just thinking about.
Like the wind up butterfly inside.
Oh, those are fine, because those are butterflies.
What if it was a wind up moth?
It does seem racist.
Yeah, doesn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah, or speciesist.
Speciesist.
Yeah.
Well, I don't know what to tell you.
Look, you like what you like, and I don't like moths.
Fair.
That's fair.
Where hopefully there aren't moths is over on Patreon.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
And when you are a patron of ours, you get an episode dedicated to you.
Like today's patron, Devin Michaels.
Devin Michaels.
Thanks, Devin.
Devin Michaels.
No, we said that the last time, but still not a first name.
Michaels is not a first name.
Okay, fine.
I stand corrected.
One first name in a craft store.
I made a note for my next Patreon game.
I don't know if you guys can read that, but it says fight giant moth.
I like it.
We're in some sort of weird meta dream hellscape over there.
Anything goes.
There could very well be giant moths.
So if you want to hear those episodes where we have to fight a giant moth, maybe or maybe not, you should become a patron,
because that's how you can listen to those episodes.
That's how you do that.
Sorry, I got something stuck in my throat.
Is it a moth?
It's like a spiky sparkling water.
Probably not a moth in that can.
Oh dear god.
I'm not going to eat you all.
Like throw them off from like before we started recording.
Burn and like just burn.
Burn like a moth in one of those bug zappers.
They really light up.
Oh no, they really do.
Fuck it.
Let's play D&D so I can take control of this thing again and not have moths part of the narrative.
We're all going to die.
Yep.
This episode.
Sully and Glim had just broken out of their cells and now we find them at the door to the hallway.
And then whoever was first.
Was me.
Saw a guard pass down far end of the hallway.
I look back at Glim and I say, hey, so he's like, he's gone.
So we should.
And then I scurry out into the hallway.
So Layout, you know, before you scurry out into the hallway, you know that you take a right out.
Down at the end of the hallway is the big window overlooking the courtyard.
You know, to the left where he went is down towards Ms.
Ma'am Meow Meow's office, the guard room to the right.
You know, there's a big door that you have never seen inside and towards Ms.
Ma'am Meow Meow's office is the stairwell out.
I run quickly back in to the room as Glim is coming out and like kind of like kind of smush her back in.
And I go, do you like want your stuff or anything?
What stuff?
Well, I assume when they they brought you in, you had like get stuff.
We just took all my stuff.
So I'm just thinking like maybe we could go and get my stuff.
Did they take my stuff?
This has not been established for us.
They tossed your room.
As far as you know, you were brought back by the guard, one of the guards.
Oh, because I was just chilling, reading a book like in my PJs.
I probably didn't really have any stuff.
Oh, my God. Are you in your PJs right now?
Yeah, you didn't have anything like particularly on you.
But as far as you know, your weaponry and shield should be back at your place.
As far as you know.
Which is called the Fallen Tower.
I am not in pajamas, but I am in some casual loungewear.
Like yoga pants.
Like soft clothes when I get home, you know.
I don't I don't need my stuff.
My stuff's back at the not the hotel.
That's probably not a word.
It's back at the Airbnb.
Let's just take a lift.
We'll get there.
The Air D&D.
Oh, my God.
Imagine someone has.
Of course it is.
I thought I just had something incredible.
Of course not.
Once we once we get out of here, I'll have to go back to the Fallen Tower.
It's where all of my things are and my weapons and shield and everything.
Yeah, OK. You can do whatever you want when we get it.
Well, we're going to stay together after we get out, aren't we?
Well, you know what?
We're really like a lot faster if we separate ourselves.
Let's deal with that later.
Let's just figure out how to get out of here.
Yeah, OK.
I poke my head out again and look around the corner.
So you are what are you looking for?
I'm looking for the guard to walk past.
OK, roll me.
Well, if you're if you're looking for possible ways out or other things, roll an investigation.
If you're just looking for the guy, roll a perception.
Glim, you can roll an investigation from inside the cell if you so desire.
It's a seven either way.
OK, OK, I like it.
I don't love it.
It is a seven.
So, hey, seven days.
I'm generally aware that I'm in a prison.
Yeah, you know, you're in a prison.
Glim, you see, I mean, you see the prison cells, you see.
Also, there is a, you know, roughly person sized vent above the door that you may not have paid attention to before.
But now that you're in escape mode, that's there.
Describe person size, my size or Sully's size, because I am very big.
Sully is pretty small.
Like human sized?
Yeah, well, like, you know.
Because a person is a person no matter how small, Russ.
That's right.
I think Horton taught us that.
It would be a tight squeeze for you if you were to use it as a as a as a mode of transportation.
But not for my friend Sully.
But not for Sully.
I have a question, though.
Now this vent, is it just like a vent and it's like it goes through and like I'm going to fuck down on the other side of the door and be like, well, fuck.
Or is it like a bulkhead situation?
Like a bulkhead situation.
So the wall goes up higher.
It goes above where the ceiling is in the next area.
Can I investigate like the bars on the wall?
Well, I'm out of my cell, right?
Can I investigate the bars on the window and see like how robust those are?
Sure.
Would we survive the fall?
That's only one story.
Your second story.
You can land on me.
I'm big.
I'll protect you, little friend.
I'll make you bounce.
You won't break a thing.
Fourteen.
I mean, they look they look like bars.
They look strong.
I'm trying to see how strong they look.
They look fairly well anchored.
You give you give a tug.
There's not a lot of movement to them.
Hardly any at all.
OK.
All right, Glim, I think we should just like make a run for it.
And then so we run out and then where do we go?
What door are we aiming for?
Past the guard?
Down the stairs?
Well, no, no.
So we're going to turn to the to the I look at my hands and I put up like the two L's.
I take a moment.
I'm like to the right and then there's a window.
Just just just follow me.
OK.
I'm going on the instinct here.
OK.
I trust you.
I should warn you.
I'm not very sneaky.
I'll do my best.
OK.
Yeah.
You just do what you can.
I'm like I'm a big lumbering Godzilla.
All right.
Both of you roll a stealth check.
This will be to get you down to the end of the hallway.
Anything that happens between here and there will be dictated by this stealth roll.
You will hear the thunk of importance.
Cross your fingers.
Oh, I did so good.
Eighteen.
Eighteen as well.
Hey, we are so twinsies.
You guys are really insane.
All right.
So you go out.
So to get to the hallway where you saw the guard go, you go right.
There is a bit of an alcove to your left.
You already technically investigated this area.
Glim as you come out, make an investigation check as well.
Six.
Looks like a hallway.
We're not very.
I just take a really long blanket stretch.
Yeah.
There's torches lit along the length of the hallway.
But otherwise nothing else of note until you get down to the end of the hallway.
Once you get there, what do you do?
So I can go right toward the door.
I don't know.
And left.
I just want to peek in here just for a second.
My curiosity is just through the roof.
And then left is like guards rooms, stairs.
Miss Mamiya meows.
Yep.
So, yeah, there is a stretch of hallway down to the right and then the door.
It's like 15 feet to that door.
So both of you make a perception check before you round the corner.
Roll of importance.
Twenty.
Oh, damn.
Damn.
Wait, perception.
Eighteen.
Still good.
Still a good roll.
Minus one.
Wow.
It's an interesting rogue characteristic.
Well, I don't.
I like it.
It's good.
That's fine.
It's very self-involved.
As you get to the corner, you hear the sound of like plate armor and chainmail kind of just like settle into place to the right.
Can I put my mirror?
You put your you put your mirror there and there is a guard seated in a chair by that door.
Both of you have passed by that door.
There never previously been a guard, although neither of you have really been out late at night.
So there is one.
It looks like he's dozed off.
You do the same down to the left and it looks like a clear hallway torches down the way.
And it looks like both doors.
Miss man meow meows and the guard chambers are currently closed.
Yeah, right.
So it looks I know it looks like we should probably go to the left, but I like I really need to know what's in there.
Are you sure?
Because that's the way I came in was over there.
Yeah, I'll be like really quick.
If you could just keep a keep an eye out, that'd be really great.
You want me to just stay here?
Yeah.
You'd be like a super buddy.
Oh, OK.
OK.
Be careful.
OK.
Thanks, super buddy.
Through the tulips.
Make another stealth check because this is a new hallway.
It's going to be a 22.
Oh, it's my stuff.
You are silent as the shadows.
Then I get to the door.
What are you doing at the door?
Is it a is it a turn?
It's kind of like it's like yeah, like like all the other doors in this place.
We haven't really described the doors, but yeah, they're all like push them.
Push them.
Yeah.
OK.
Push them.
Latch.
Unlatch it.
You hear a light click and it's locked.
I get in my thieves tools.
You make a sleight of hand check.
Glim make an investigation check as you're kind of just standing there waiting.
23.
Eight.
It's an eight.
I'm not very good at investigating right now.
Apparently.
Yep.
Why are you the lookout?
Well, I can't be the sneak either.
So I suppose.
OK.
Yeah.
You Glim.
You're just paying attention to what Sully's doing.
It's all good.
Sully, you put your tools in and it's really quite easy for you.
You hear the audible click of the lock change over and then you hear the guard beside you give up.
As he settles back to sleep.
He obviously had some pudding before he went down.
Before I open it, can I make an investigation check on it?
I want to check for traps.
That's right.
Level one shit here, people.
I'm checking for traps.
I mean, a trap could conceivably kill any of us.
Exactly.
Yeah, that's only a seven.
I mean, it looks it looks like a standard door from what you've seen.
Just a standard door.
Slowly.
No.
Which game is this?
I open the door slowly.
You crack it open a little bit and you hear a very loud squeak begin to start as you push it open.
I do a quick slide to the hinges and I spit on them.
Kate?
Do I have to roll for spit?
No.
Why don't you just give this one to me because it's so clever.
Yeah, I like it.
Or disgusting.
Odds.
Odds, it does some.
No, you tell me what you want.
Odds, it works.
No, you tell me if you want odd.
You tell me what you want.
Okay, okay.
You tell me.
Okay, evens.
It works and it lubes them up and the squeak stops.
Odds, it doesn't and I've just made everything gooey.
Well, fuck that.
Nice 19 though.
Yeah.
So, you've just made everything gooey and you go to push the door again and the creak is still there.
The guard makes another grumbled movement and kind of lifts his head but doesn't open his eyes and puts it back down.
Is he snoring?
Not really, no.
More just grumbles.
Well, I don't need it to open a whole lot to fit my little body in there.
So, I creak it again.
Mario Party and we're at the thing where you have to pet the caterpillar.
Yeah.
Anybody know what I'm talking about?
Don't Wake Daddy would probably be...
I've played Mario Party several times, haven't played that particular minigame.
I was also thinking Don't Wake Daddy but then I thought, is that a weird cooperative game from the 80s that no one else will know what I'm talking about?
But it does seem like Don't Wake Daddy.
Okay, then make a stealth check as you try and do this.
Ah, 14.
It was good?
No, 12.
It's not the worst.
I rolled a five.
I'm just trying to open it enough to squeeze my body through.
There's a very loud creak as you do that.
You slip in and kind of push the door closed behind you, not closed but latched.
You hear the guard kind of, again, grumble, glim.
You see as you're kind of peeking around the corner, his eyes open for a second.
They look kind of just sleepy glazed over and he goes back to sleep.
So you're inside this room now.
It's a very dark room.
Cool.
Yep.
No windows.
No torches.
Do you have dark vision?
I don't think I have dark vision.
The only races that don't are halflings and dragonborn and humans.
All right.
Perfect.
So you don't have dark vision.
So you are in a dark room.
I don't have dark vision either.
You don't?
No.
I always assume reptilian things do for some reason.
You know what?
I just have to check my information about what I previously think about different races.
It's true.
So what are you doing while you're in here?
I'm going to...
Immediately kind of to the side.
You can feel like a wooden shelf as you kind of brushed by.
In my thief's tools, is there like a...
Do you have like a traveler's pack or something with a tinder?
Probably with all of her other stuff.
Oh, right.
I probably don't have that.
So what I'm going to do is I'm just going to feel around a little bit and just kind
of see what, if anything, feels like weapon-y.
Because I don't have a weapon on me, and neither do you.
So if we get into a fight hand-to-hand, I'm going to get pummeled.
You're not maybe the...
I'm being racist now.
I suspect you're not the best hand-to-hand fighter.
Maybe against other halflings.
You're a real fucking brute.
That's right.
Okay.
So I've got a list of ten things in this room.
So we're going to see...
Seven of them will kill you.
Ten.
So you come to...
You're kind of feeling the shelves and you pick up what feels like just a stone.
Let's go kill somebody.
I put it in my pocket.
I continue to feel around.
Glim, what are you doing out in the hall?
I think I'm just waiting because this is all pretty happening pretty quickly, but
I am getting nervous.
Make a perception check.
Oh, Nat 20.
I see everything now.
You hear from down to the left what sounds like somebody stand up.
Kind of sounds like it's coming from the guard chambers, and you hear footsteps
moving towards that door.
Solly?
What?
Someone's...
The guard at the door grumbles and stirs.
Someone's coming.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
I move faster and I touch something else.
You find a bag that feels very familiar.
Oh, I pick up the familiar bag and put it around my...
It feels like a satchel, right?
Yeah.
A pageboy bag that no one would make fun of because it's totally manly enough,
definitely not a purse.
Yes.
Okay, I put that on and then I carefully make my way to the door again.
Okay.
You're feeling for anything else or you're just making your way to the door?
Well, I obviously feel on my way to the door.
Okay.
I'll give you one more here.
Who walks through the middle of a dark room.
I mean, you'd be feeling, exactly.
You couldn't help but feel.
So you run your hands along, you come to something that feels like a book.
I just put it in my bag, just natural thief instinct.
You come to something that is kind of leathery and as you pick it up,
it feels like it could be a wine skin or a water skin.
I take that too.
And you also find what feels like a long metal cylinder that's kind of knobs on it.
That one's definitely going up your butt.
Yeah.
Is it an elbow?
I remember it suggestively, something like this.
And then I put it into my bag.
That's patron content only to see what I did.
Although you all have imagination.
I mean, you can sit together pretty easy.
Okay, so you're back at the door.
You open the door and you see light come out down the hallway from the guard's chambers
and a silhouette of a guard is kind of standing at the door making his way out of the room.
I quickly like, you know, power walk.
Do you close the door behind you?
Does it squeak?
It didn't squeak as much when you were closing it.
Okay, no, then I will slowly close it.
Okay, and you're going back down to where Glim is?
Yep.
Okay, make a stealth check.
18, no.
16, I always look at the wrong number.
You make it back around the corner to where Glim is
and you hear footsteps come out and the door close
and begin to walk back down towards Ms. Mam-Meow-Meow's office.
So away from us.
So away from you.
Moot!
Look!
You had gone off to find a getaway vehicle, if I do remember correctly.
Yes, Gabriel on, yeah.
You and Gabriel are standing there and he says,
So, you think one of these will work?
Yeah, I mean, they all...
Is there a way to tell which one's going to be better than another?
Well, how big are your friends?
Because we'll probably just want to hide them in the back and we can, you know...
Well, I mean, Glim is a Dragonborn, so she's pretty big.
I don't know about the other person, though.
Well, let's assume they're both the same size.
OK.
That way we would just really make sure that we've got enough room.
That's a good idea.
Yeah.
Error on the side of caution.
He kind of looks around and he says,
You got any... you fluid with the... with monetary... fluid?
You got... you got change? Coin?
Is he asking you for fluids or is he asking you for money?
I've got a little bit of money.
How much... probably enough to get one of these, hey?
Sure. Yeah, let's go ask.
Is there like a kiosk or...?
I want to hear some awesome bartering.
Do not take the first price they give you.
You begin to walk kind of through this pathway of carriages more towards the stable area
where you see many different horses
and you see a stable boy kind of sweeping up
and back to you as you are walking up.
You there, boy.
I want to rent one of these carriages.
He kind of jumps and startles.
Oh, sorry, I didn't hear you coming up there.
Well, OK.
Most of these are already peoples, but...
I mean, is there one that maybe isn't already rented?
I mean, there's the one owned by the...
How long do you need it for?
Oh, just like a couple hours.
Real quick, like two hours maybe.
Right. OK.
Well, I mean, if you could...
I really shouldn't be doing this.
So there's the one that the master owns.
Doesn't ride it very often lately,
but if you could have it back like before sunrise,
I could probably swing a pretty good deal on it.
Uh, yeah, I don't see why not.
We could definitely do that.
Cool, cool. All right.
So where are your horses?
I could hook it up for you.
Oh, we need horses too.
I thought they came with the carriage.
OK.
Pure soul.
Look, how much you got for me here?
Because this is like...
This is really above and beyond what I'm supposed to be doing.
Uh, geez, I don't even know what this normally costs.
Well, I mean, we got some...
There's some very good carriages here.
Probably 10 gold for the carriage.
It's probably a pretty good rate.
Does that include the horses?
Well, then the horses...
It depends on what kind of horses you want on top of that.
I would like living horses.
Fair enough.
This is...this is...this is Bessie.
She really could pull any of these carriages,
and he motions his hand towards what looks like
the oldest and sickliest horse in this whole place.
Uh, Bessie's not looking so good.
Is there...are there any other options?
Don't let looks fool you, my friend.
Bessie has been around for a long time.
She's seen a lot of things.
She's pulled a lot of carriages.
She just goes into just auto-pilot, as they say.
Auto carriage driving.
I've never heard that before.
Auto...
She just...she just goes.
Like, what are you...
You're not doing any, like, off-roading, are you?
Going through sweet mud bogs?
Well, I mean, not to my knowledge,
but you never know what's going to be out on the road.
How far out on the road are you going?
Well, I don't know.
Somewhere where we'll be back in a couple of hours.
Very shifty. Very shifty, friend.
Okay, I can...I can one-up you.
I can...I can give you this lovely stallion here.
This is a very beautiful horse.
You know what?
Because I like the cut of your jib.
Probably I could give it to you for, like,
seven gold all-in.
So the horse and the carriage for seven gold.
All-in.
I look back at Gabriel.
Kind of like, hmm?
He's taking a sip from his flask.
Does he make me any sort of gesture or anything?
He kind of catches your eye as he's drinking
and he puts it down his...
You doing good over there?
Yeah, I think so.
I think, I mean, we only really have, like,
the three gold or the...
Well, I guess a fourth.
Yeah, I think we have the four gold.
So I don't really think we can do the seven.
I guess we'll have to go somewhere else.
Look, okay, you got four gold?
Yeah.
Okay, you give me the four gold.
It's like it never happened.
I mean, you gotta bring the carriage back.
Well, yeah, I mean, that's the deal.
Let's just keep it under the table,
if you know what I'm saying.
Okay, so the four gold,
and then we're all good to go.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
You know, these are trying times.
This is really just putting a wrinkle
in our business, but you know what?
I like you.
I think that we're gonna be best of friends
after this deal.
Oh, I hope so.
It's always good to have a lot of friends.
Yeah, yeah.
He extends his hand towards you.
And Moot attempts to do, like,
the handshake with the money in it
that he's seen before,
and he pops the money all over the ground.
I was gonna make you do a sleight of hand-shake.
You could do it.
I just don't think he'll be able to pull it off.
It's something he's seen done,
but he's never tried to do.
But I'll give it a roll.
Sure.
It's always a chance.
Maybe he's a natural cool guy.
I mean, maybe.
He did roll a 15.
Oh, damn.
You go in with your,
you're palming these four gold.
Now, is this four gold,
or is this, like, three gold
and a whole bunch of silver pieces?
Three gold and several silver pieces.
So the three golds stay in your hand,
but as you go to shake his hand,
those silver pieces, like,
clang out down to the ground.
It's like smooth, smooth, smooth.
Sorry?
Takes the three gold
and kind of picks up the silvers
and puts them into his pocket.
He's like, all right,
let me just, you know,
saddle up your horse here
and hook you up with sweet carriage.
Need a lot of trunk space?
I mean, decent amount of trunk space, sure.
He leans in, he's like,
how many dead bodies
are you putting in the back?
Oh, no, it's nothing.
Nothing, two.
It's nothing like that.
Got it.
Gives you a big wink.
Gabriel and you go back out to the front
to wait for it to come.
He shoots Gabriel, like,
a little, like, tentative, like,
thumbs up like I did good.
Nailed it, boy. Nailed it.
Welcome back to the middle.
All of us, all the ladies
say welcome back to the middle.
OK.
That's it.
They just said welcome back to the middle
and now we're here.
That was it.
We're here now.
This is where we tell you
about things that we have going on.
And one of those things
that we mentioned here and there
is that we're on Patreon,
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
And if you listen to the show
and you love the show,
we really appreciate you being here.
And we want to share
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If you can give a little bit
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And over there, you get a whole bunch
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And some of those perks
even get worked into the show.
Such as?
Some of the sweet names
that have come up in season two.
We've had a whole slew
of specific characters
who have been built around
names provided to us.
Like Merv,
provided to us by Craig,
Gabriel for Gabriel Lynch,
one of our longest running patrons.
Thank you, Gabriel.
So proud of that character.
That's his namesake, I'm sure.
Yeah.
Right? So proud.
Leydon Menda,
named by Jacob,
and Meow Meow.
Miss Mam Meow Meow?
Named by Kavin.
Miss Mam Meow Meow
has actually changed my life in real life
because my future mother-in-law has two cats.
And of course, when I see a cat,
I'm always like,
Hey Meow Meow.
And then now I'm mostly
Miss Mam Meow Meow?
Miss Mam Meow Meow.
I love that.
This bleeds into our real,
real world lives a lot.
Exactly.
You're changing our lives.
If you would like
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But you can come join us
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We hope to see you over there.
But now,
let's get you back to this one.
It's pretty good.
Hope you like it.
If you do, say so yourself.
Yeah.
Rashomon,
a land where spirits roam
and witches rule.
Three women are embroiled
in a divine plot,
and it is up to them
to uncover why.
Join the adventures of the broadswords
at the broadswords.com.
Glim and Sully are back down
the hallway just kind of around the corner
to where you came.
You heard footsteps moving back down
towards Ms. Man-Meow-Meow's office,
or you were hearing them move back
towards Ms. Man-Meow-Meow's office.
What are you doing?
I take my little mirror
and I look around the corner
to see if he goes inside
Ms. Man-Meow-Meow's office,
or is just hanging out outside
in the hall or what.
It's kind of a far way down there,
and you see a lot of shadows cast,
but from what you can tell
is the door doesn't open down there,
and rather you see a shadowy figure
standing guard down
at the end of the hallway.
Yeah, all right.
So there's like this guy.
There's a guy down there.
So, um...
Roll an investigation check
as you're having this discussion.
Nineteen.
Oh, thank God.
My investigation is a ten.
Sully has kind of positioned himself
back further down the hallway
from you, Glim,
and you can see that
down the hallway from you, Glim,
and you catch down towards
where the door that you came out of,
down towards the cells,
in the floor you see a dim light
coming up in the corner
beyond the door where you came out.
Hey, hey, Sully,
what about that?
What about what?
There must be something over there.
Do you see there's like
a little bit of light coming
from under a door or something?
Why don't we go see what that is?
There's so many guards out here.
Okay, sounds good.
When we, because we'll walk back
past that window, will we?
You're standing right in front of the window.
Can I also investigate,
like is it an opening window
or is it just a window?
Just like a big picture window.
Oh, jeez.
Hopefully no guards are looking in.
Yeah, right.
We're just standing in front of the window.
Well, you're back a little bit,
but essentially it's like
if you're walking towards
the way you were going,
it's right in front of you.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Let's go see.
Yeah, all right.
As you are kind of feeling around,
the whole floor is like stonework
and then you get to that point
and you see light peering up
through some of these stones
and you feel it and it feels like
wood made to look like stone.
I crouch down and I touch
and I'm like,
wow, the craftsmanship.
And I guess we like,
do you want me to investigate it
to see if there's like
a pole ring or something?
Can I also do that?
Absolutely.
Well, I rolled a one,
so I would like it if you did that.
So you're looking around
and suddenly you find
on either side of it,
there's a bit of a groove
that feels like you could lift it
if you wanted to.
Or I could get someone stronger
than you to lift it.
Hey, strong girl.
Yeah?
Give me a hand with this.
Okay.
And I lift it up
with my beefy arms.
You do so.
Wait, I lift it up
with my beefy legs?
Not my back.
That's the bad way, right?
What's the good way?
Yeah, lift with your legs.
Not with my back.
There we go.
Yes, with proper posture,
you bend down,
lift it up.
Just a deep squat lift.
It's much lighter
than you had anticipated
and it comes right up.
It is just wood.
No, but it comes up
and it's on a hinge
and there are stairs
going down below
and there is a dim light
coming up from those stairs.
I have a good warm feeling
about this.
Let's go.
I don't think we have a choice.
Let's go.
We go down the stairs.
That's what it feels like.
And I close the thing behind us.
Everybody make a stealth check.
Uh-oh.
Entering a new area.
Eighteen.
Okay, here we go, guys.
Twelve.
It's not terrible.
It's not the worst it could have been.
Sully zips down there
pretty quickly making
not much noise.
Glim you as you're lowering
the door behind you.
It kind of fuds shut
a little louder than you had wished.
I stop and I look back up at her.
I make a face like, sorry.
You go down a flight of stairs.
It's twenty feet down
and there is a long corridor
with torchlight all along.
Make a perception check
as you wake your way down here.
Perception.
Fourteen.
Nine.
I blew it all on that 120.
Everything else has been below ten.
It's a very musty feel.
There are cobwebs all along the walls.
It looks like it's not used
as a high traffic area,
but Sully you do see some
pretty recent footprints.
It's kind of the sandy dirt
that is down along the floor.
Down at the end of the hallway
you see a door which is
cracked open slightly
with more light emanating from inside.
Does she have a tail?
Do you have a tail?
In the image she does have a tail.
Dragonborn generally do not have tails,
but Glim is special.
You have a tail, Glim?
Well, hey, if it's in the pictures.
It's in the pictures.
Yes.
I lean over and I go,
hey, can you do a little sweep sweep
our footprints with your tail?
Sure.
Yeah, okay.
Alright.
I'm thinking.
I'm stealthy.
I don't want someone to be like,
oh, they're down here.
There's two new sets of footprints.
One giant, one tiny.
Hi.
You make it down to the end of the hallway.
Make a perception check.
Oh, no.
One.
Not a nat one.
It's a two.
We're such a good team.
What did you roll?
I rolled a 19 and I have a plus one.
Both sides of the spectrum here.
Sully, you get to the door.
You feel it's totally fine.
Glim, as you see Sully begin to
make his way to the door
and possibly going through it,
you hear muffled whispers from beyond.
Is Sully in front of me?
Yes.
Okay, I'm going to kind of like,
grab him.
Hey, whoa, watch the merchandise.
Don't you hear that?
Sully puts his ear up to the door.
You now hear that there's a low conversation
going on beyond the door.
You can't quite make out exactly what they're saying,
but you can tell that there are two distinct voices.
Are there any other doors?
No, you're at the end of the hallway.
There's just the one door.
Well, we got two choices.
We can go through here
and meet a couple people.
Could be fun.
Or we go back upstairs
and meet that one guard.
Two guards at least.
I can guarantee that's not going to be fun.
I say we try with these folks.
Do you want to go first?
You got that intimidation thing going on.
Yeah, I'll go first.
I'll watch your back.
Thanks, Sully.
So I'm going to open the door briskly.
Please tell me it opens out into the room.
Can she Van Damme this door in?
No, just like I'm in a hurry
and I'm looking for something.
Cool.
Okay, you swing the door open
and at quick glance you are surrounded by a bunch of boxes.
Dusty old wooden boxes, more cobwebs.
It looks like you're in a bit of a store room.
Through a winding path
that leads to the other side of the room,
there is another door
where you can hear the voices a little stronger.
Oh, I blew my entrance.
Wasted your dramatic entrance.
There's no other doors?
No, it's just the one door.
This looks like, yeah, it was a store room.
That would explain why we couldn't hear what they were saying
even though we were beside an ajar door.
They were on the other side.
I look inside some of the boxes and it's like,
it'd be great for lininaries, you know?
So yeah, lots of fabrics, spices.
It looks like this is,
if you were a betting person,
it looks like goods that were taken from different ships.
Confiscated goods.
Confiscated goods, contraband.
This is the teacher's drawer that has all the fun student stuff in it.
It's got the bouncy balls, it's got the cell phones, yo-yos.
That rubber band that one kid keeps wrapping around his hand
and shooting like a little gun.
Yeah.
Is there anything I can take in here, Valya?
Are there any weapons?
I actually say, hold on a second,
and I look inside my bag.
I grab stuff in a dark room and I never looked at it.
So I take out the long cylindrical thing
and it is a?
It's a flute.
Potato, potato.
A little tarnished in,
its patina is a little tarnished, but it is a flute.
Also, there's a,
it looks like a wine skin,
and as you feel it, it feels like it's about half empty.
I said you took the book.
As you look at it, it says fairy tales.
And as you kind of skim through,
can you give me a history check?
Nineteen.
I know my history.
So as you kind of skim through,
you see some inconsistencies in the stories,
and it looks like rather than fairy tales as you know them,
it's tales fairies tell about humans.
Oh.
You also look at the stone,
and it's just a gray stone.
Do I notice any carvings or anything on the flute?
Magical.
Nothing really exceptional, no?
Neat.
And you, sorry, are you looking at boxes?
Everybody make an investigation check if you're looking at boxes.
I would like to, I'm specifically looking for some weapons,
because I, we have a rock and a flute and a book.
And if I'm looking at the investigation,
I've only rolled a 12.
I also rolled a 12 this time.
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
By cool, you mean like desperately mediocre.
We find a slightly bigger rock.
It's a sharp rock.
I find a rock. It was actually the rock I already had.
You put it down, and then you're like, look at this!
No, so yeah, definitely fabrics, spices.
Looks like some different plant-based goods that aren't spices, but...
Herbs.
Herbs, something.
Nothing that you really directly recognize exactly.
There doesn't appear to be any weapons in this.
Different textiles, clothes, that sort of thing.
Mostly just common trade goods.
Are there torches on the wall?
In this room, yeah.
Are they removable?
Yep. There are two. There's one at each door.
Hey, Glim, would you hand me one of those?
I assume I can't reach it.
Not comfortably, no.
Sure.
And I grab one, and I want to listen outside the door
to see if I can hear what they're saying.
Yes.
So I get one, and I give it to Sully.
Okay, you hand it to Sully,
and you kind of press your ear to the door,
and you hear a voice you recognize in Ms. Mam-Meow-Meow's voice
as she is kind of finishing up a conversation
with this other person that you don't recognize
in the little that they speak.
And she says,
Well, the meeting tomorrow is going to go really well.
We got the book now, and everything will just come together.
It's going to be great. I just can't wait for it.
And then you hear a door close
with some footsteps and a door close.
Oh.
How many sets of footsteps do I hear?
Two.
Oh, okay.
Great.
This is good news.
It means there's another door.
I'm very excited that we're trapped in a maze.
Yeah.
A dungeon maze.
He's trying to trick us.
It's a basement.
It's a dungeon maze.
Let's cut back to moot here real quick.
You guys are standing outside.
You and Gabriel are standing outside of this stable,
and the stable boy comes and pulls the horse
and carriage out and says,
Here you go.
Thanks for doing business.
Remember, please have it back by morning.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
No problem.
We'll have it back for you.
Beautiful. Beautiful.
I love doing business with you.
Thank you so much.
And remember to tip your waitresses when you see them.
I don't know.
They just said that maybe I should say that kind of just
rapport and stuff.
Is there a waitress that comes with the carriage?
I don't understand.
You know, it's a hospitality industry thing.
We're attached to just an inn.
I'm going to talk to them about it tomorrow.
Maybe I got to find a different catchphrase.
Keep your horses watered.
Oh, that's just good advice.
I'll definitely do that.
Perfect. Good.
I'm going to write that one down.
And he writes it.
He pulls out a notebook and he writes it down.
Oh, I have one of those.
A notebook?
They are going to be best friends.
Great.
I love notebooks.
You always keep track of everything that you absolutely need to know.
Silence.
I thought there was a little moment we had there.
That's OK.
I'll just go back to cleaning the horses.
All good.
See you by morning.
OK.
So I see Gabriel over there and I say, OK, we need to make some room for our
guests.
Yeah.
Make some room.
Do we need some blankets?
What do you suggest here?
Yeah, we should probably get something to cover them up.
Yeah, I want to have it ready for them when they show up.
I haven't done a jailbreak in a while.
All right, hop in.
Let's go.
Maybe we'll go back to...
I don't know.
How long do you think we have?
We've been here for a little while, I feel like.
I don't know.
I mean...
Hey, stable boy, you got any blankets?
Blankets?
That's going to be an extra goal.
Fuck it.
We'll be fine.
We'll...
Don't worry.
Nobody's going to look.
It's dark.
It's nighttime.
We'll figure it out.
I mean, considering the horse and the carriage cost four altogether, one for blankets
seems exorbitant.
It's steep.
I'm not going to give these guys a good rating, I don't think.
A bad yelp?
Yeah.
It's just called yell and you just walk through the streets just screaming,
Don't buy from these people.
Bad horses.
Maybe we'll do that in the morning and we'll see how it goes.
All right, hop aboard.
All right, where are we off to?
I don't know.
We're going to go kind of just circle around the jail.
Yep, that makes sense.
I mean...
I mean, that's where they're going to come out, somewhere around the jail.
Yeah, it could be anywhere there, so yeah, I guess just always be on the move,
hey?
That's right.
Never sit in one place for too long.
He climbs up in, are you coming?
Yeah, let's do this.
All right, he hands you the reins.
Oh, boy.
Any pointers?
He points forward.
Okay.
Make an animal handling check.
Was it wisdom?
That would be animal handling.
Thanks, Ravis.
It's an 11.
So you tell me what you do to try and get this horse moving.
I kind of just try to do what I've seen other people do when they've been driving carriages and horses,
and I kind of just like give the old kind of, what would you even call that?
Like snapping the reins?
Yeah, there we go.
I like snap the reins a little bit.
Bit of a snap and the horse kind of looks back at you.
And I just, I look at the horse and go, I don't know, help me out here.
The horse looks forward like it knows what to do and it just starts walking down the street.
You're making your way back to the jail.
Sully, what are you doing with your torch?
I am going to use it as a weapon if need be.
I'm going to burn some motherfuckers.
Cool.
All right.
What the fuck?
What did she say?
Some people don't deserve happiness.
All right, let's go.
Oh, boy.
Okay, yeah, let's go.
So you're going into the room where Ms. Mamiya was previously?
I have a feeling that this is going to come up into her office.
I mean, maybe, but it's a door at least.
That's what I feel like.
We're at least walking somewhere.
You're right.
We're not just standing in a hallway hoping that somebody leaves.
So are you just kicking open the door again or are you going stealthily?
I didn't kick it last time.
I had a whole plan, but now the people left.
So I can't even do anything except open the door like a normal Dragonborn,
which is probably more aggressively than a normal person.
It's true.
You open the door and it opens into an illuminated,
what looks like a conference room of sorts.
There's a podium up at the front.
There are many rows of chairs.
There are red drapes and tapestries hung from the walls.
And then behind the podium, you see a large symbol.
And it is of an eye that looks like it has little horns coming off of the eye.
And it has what looks like either it looks like beadwork kind of coming down from the eye.
Hey, Sol, you ever seen anything like that before?
Have I ever seen anything like that before?
Both of you can make a history check.
I think Glim doesn't if she's asking you, but you're more than welcome to.
I do have 10.
13.
Neither of you probably would recognize this symbol.
Not even with my time and the...
But I don't think you've spent much time in Neverwinter, have you?
No, I thought maybe if they were related to the cults.
Oh, yeah, definitely no relation to the cult.
You know that for certain or with the...
But it does seem like...
Seems cult-y.
Yeah, some kind of like...
Some organization.
I know, I've never seen this before, but it doesn't look good.
No, hmm.
That Ms. MeowMeowMeow is...
She's so shady. We gotta get out of here.
Yeah, she's a piece of work.
Is there just the one door?
There is just the one door.
Well, two doors, I guess. We came in one.
You came in one. One off to the left.
So the podium's straight ahead.
One off to the left.
Let's do an investigation check as you kind of go through this room.
Twelve.
Sixteen.
In traditional Sully fashion, you kind of do a quick scan of the room,
and you actually see up on the podium as you kind of round the corner.
You couldn't see it from the other side because it was slanted,
but you see the book that you stole.
Oh.
I go over and I pick it up and I show Glim and I'm like,
looky, looky what I found.
And I put it into my satchel.
All right. Are you moving towards the second door?
Yep.
You get to it. It is closed.
As you try it, it is locked.
I got this.
Thieves tools.
Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch.
Oh, Jesus.
I imagine that that's what you do when you're doing your thing.
Thieves tools.
It's only, it's light of hand, right?
Yes.
It's only a 16.
Yeah, that's been fine so far.
It unlocks and the door, you open it and crack,
and you feel a cold breeze come in from the outside
as it opens up into the courtyard.
Oh, that's nice.
I haven't breathed fresh air since,
well, I guess yesterday, but okay, let's go.
Is the courtyard in the center of the prison?
No, when you're in the prison, it's just prison air, you guys.
The air is better out there. It's freer.
I'm genuinely asking, is the prison like a square
and we're in the middle of it now?
No, no, no, it's not.
So we're like actually outside the compound.
You are outside of the building.
Okay.
It opens up into the courtyard.
There are large fences that run the perimeter
that you can see of the courtyard.
We're in the exercise pad.
Yeah.
Okay.
How tall are the fences?
12 feet tall.
Okay.
Hey, you think you can throw me over one of those fences?
I was just going to suggest that.
I could throw you, is it like a thick wall?
Can we tell if it's a big stone wall?
Is it chain link?
Yeah, you kind of knock at it
and you feel like it's a thicker stone wall probably, you know,
based on the fact that both of you have, you know,
walked by it in some way, shape, or form.
It's probably about three feet.
Okay.
How tall are you?
Three feet, five inches.
I think I can just hold you up over my head
and if you reach your hands up, you can reach the top
because I'm six and a half feet tall,
so my arms would be like...
Six, nine, 12, yeah, you'd be able to.
Right?
I'll give you a little boost up.
You climb up there.
How are you going to get up?
Well, I don't know, throw me a rope down or something.
Is there a tree outside?
Can you tie off to something?
I can just belay up there.
What rope are you talking of?
Oh, is there rope in my bag?
I mean, it's all of your stuff.
I have all my stuff.
I have thieves' tools, tinker's tools.
You must have like a, whatever,
travelers' pack or something.
I have a backpack adventuring gear.
Yeah, see?
Got to be a rope in there.
I do have a rope.
It's hempen.
It's 50 feet.
It's a very strong rope.
Okay, so I'll just lift you up.
You go to the top and see if you can,
like, find a tree or something to tie off,
and I can just pull myself up.
Yeah, okay.
Before we run out into the middle of this courtyard,
I put my beacon of light away.
Fair enough.
That's a good idea, good idea.
And I take a quick look around
to see if there are any, like,
anyone stationed at the top of the walls
in any particular lookout.
Make a perception.
I need my fucking perception.
Come on.
Seven.
There's nobody that you see.
It looks like a clear night.
I canonically am already at the wall.
I just said I touched the wall, right?
Didn't you say I touched the wall rest
to see how thick it was?
Yeah.
I also said that both of you have walked by it
so that you would have had previous knowledge of it.
Okay.
So then I will.
Well, I mean, it's only a 12 anyway,
so I don't perceive much more.
All right, let's do this fast.
Hoist me up.
Okay.
And I do it like it ain't no thing.
Sure, make a...
Because it ain't no thing.
Yeah, no, that's fine.
Strength?
Like, I don't know if I even have to do a check.
It's like listing a child.
Strength check?
Maybe just give me a strength check.
Okay.
There's a lot of checks in this.
We're good.
There is a lot.
We're making up for no rolls for the last six episodes.
Strength is just a normal one.
Yeah, just normal.
Owls a 20.
Oh, yeah, like almost with more vigor than you thought
because you don't know your own strength.
Apparently.
So it goes up into the air a little bit.
Woo!
I clamber onto the...
onto the top of the wall.
And I look by and I see if there's like a tree
or anything I can anchor my rope to.
There are, yep, more mature trees all along.
I deftly tie a superb knot
and I throw the rope back over the wall.
I'm going to climb up.
Strength check again?
Athletics.
I'm athletic as fuck.
No, yeah, I mean strength.
17.
Those are the only two things I'm good at.
Actually, that's not true.
Yeah, absolutely.
You make it up and over.
And as you land back down on the ground,
you hear the sound of carriage wheels
kind of rounding a corner down the street.
I coil my rope back up and put it back in my bag.
You don't know when you're going to need that.
And we're like, I'm pressed up against the wall
waiting to see like what this carriage business is all about.
It's middle of the night, very dark,
but you see a horse and carriage with two figures
illuminated by the, what did I call them?
No, those are water clocks.
That wasn't the light.
They've got lights though.
Not like lights, but like street flames.
Ah, street flames.
Street flames.
Just your streets are on fire.
So you see kind of dimly lit behind you two figures.
Make a perception check.
14.
10.
14.
You vaguely recognize the silhouette
and the profile of what you can presume to be Moot.
And he's seated beside a larger figure
which you more or less recognize as Gabriel.
I don't see this and I say, hey, follow my lead.
We're going to take this cart.
No, no, that's my friend.
I think that's my friend that got us the key,
the thieves tools.
Moot, roll a perception check.
As a 17.
Are you sure?
I'm pretty sure.
You see two figures standing, arguing amongst themselves
off to the side of the road.
Well, we're Whisper, arguably.
Very.
And we're pressed up against the wall.
I mean, we're pretty sticky.
Yeah, we're like practically invisible.
As there's like, imagine our height differences.
So I'm like up here, Whisper.
You're like bending way down to talk to me.
Totally.
You definitely recognize one as Glim and one as a small child.
Perfect.
I nudge Gabriel and kind of point over there and say, Glam, Glam.
And he grabs the reins from you and kind of pulls the horse to a stop.
Moot, I thought that was you.
Oh, thank God you're here.
And I like come out and I'm like, Sully, it's OK.
This is my friend.
Quicker.
The small child's with you.
OK, get in.
We got to go.
Yeah, child.
Quicker and quieter, please.
OK, but like we got to go.
We in it.
I get it.
Both of you climb aboard and there are no blankets back there.
No.
But you climb into the back and there's plenty of room.
And Gabriel snaps the horse again and you guys slowly and nonchAlydintly set off as Gabriel whistles to himself.
Guys, can we go to the Fallen Tower?
All my weapons and stuff are there.
Also, it would be great if we had some blankets to cover us up.
Yeah, I mean, Gabriel, what do you think?
Oh, we got to go back to the Fallen Town.
OK.
Yeah, sure.
We can probably do that.
Hey, can we grab a plate while we're there?
I'm so thirsty.
We should probably not hang out there for very long because you guys are going to jail.
Maybe you can bring one to go.
Yeah, we're going to make this real quick, guys.
All right.
Moot and Glim having recently broken out of their respective cells.
What?
No.
Sully and Glim have broken out of respective cells.
Yeah.
Moot was an accomplice?
They just want to cut me into this podcast entirely.
This whole moth thing is my fault.
It's where it started.
The profile of Glim seated beside a larger fellow who you're not Glim.
Fuck.
You see yourself driving the carriage.
Mindfuck.
Boom.
Episode over.
No.
The prison was inside your mind.
You wake up in the middle of the maze and there's...
Back at Xanthal's tower.
The songs Sneaky, I Knew A Guy, and Spider Eyes are by Kavin McLeod of incompetech.filmmusic.io.
Licensed under Creative Commons by Attribution 4.0.
Visit creativecommons.org slash licenses slash buy slash 4.0.